Introduction to Part II
In chapters 1 thru 7 I told the story of how I became to live a ‘Dual Life’; A life of a ‘spiritual’ journey inwards alongside the career of a manager in the ‘materialistic’ business arena. Beforehand my experiences in business taught me it was a world for greedy ‘wolves’, proficient at manipulation and intimidation. I hoped and believed I could live differently, but I did not have the confidence that it was possible. I was concerned I may be naive, and that speaking openly about my ideas may backfire on me. So, during the past seven years, when amongst my colleagues in the the business community, I kept my ‘spiritual’ ideas to myself.
Today, seven years into the journey, I am confident that the so called 'spiritual’ and so called 'materialistic’ can co-exist. Through my own experiences and through honest businessmen and entrepreneurs that I have met, I learned to bridge these seeming polarities.
Today I know it is possible, though not easy, to live a meaningful and truthful life, to be loyal to my values, to build meaningful relationships and to put relationships before results. More so, I am confident this path produces better, long lasting, results even by the analytical figures of the business community.
The lessons I learned from the journey became the most practical and invaluable lessons I have applied in my day-to-day life, at home and in management and business.
In the following chapters I shall share my insights for the benefit of others who seek to venture into these less traveled paths of life.
Chapter 8 - Acceptance and Equanimity
Equanimity - a calm mental state, especially after a shock or disappointment or in a difficult situation: (Cambridge Dictionary)
At around 500 BC a young Indian prince named Guattama Sidhartha set out to understand human suffering and to find a way to free people from the sufferings of life. To date, the teachings of Sidhartha, later known as the Buddha, are effectively practiced by men and women around the world, reducing stress and anxiety, enhancing cognitive functions and improving overall health. Contemporary psychologists find ancient Buddhist practices, such as meditation (a.k.a. Mindfulness), of empirically proven therapeutic value,
Buddhism evolved to become the world’s fourth largest religion, and Buddha is worshiped by millions. However, my interest in Buddha is not religious. For me Sidhartha was a very wise and curious man, a researcher, a courageous pioneer, who opened new possibilities for humankind to better understand ourselves and improve our well-being.
Buddha realized that nothing in this world stays the same; everything is in a constant state of change. Pleasurable conditions, favorable circumstances, our relationships with those we hold dear, our health and well-being - any sense of comfort and security we derive from these aspects is continually threatened by life’s flux and uncertainty, and ultimately by death, the most profound change of all.
Buddha saw that people’s ignorance of the nature of change was the cause of suffering. We desire to hold on to what we value, and we suffer when life’s inevitable process of change separates us from those things. Liberation from suffering occurs, he taught, when we are able to sever our attachments to the transient things of this world. Liberation from suffering is the process of acceptance. In short, accept reality - end stress.
Yet, acceptance is not easy to accept. Our affections for others, the desire to succeed in our endeavors, our interests and passions, our love of life itself—all of these are attachments and potential sources of disappointment and suffering.
Now let us examine how these insights apply to our daily life in the business and workplace domains. In business the common predisposition is that to be considered successful, a company must grow continually. It must increase profits, expand to new markets and innovate. A company that does not show growth, would eventually be savaged on the stock market. So the common predisposition in business is discontentment from the current state, as a matter of survival.
So, with the drive to push forward we set the stage for the favourable state. We envision the future. We define goals and targets, we prepare business plans and project plans. Then we take our offerings and put them on the market, where we must provide value for money. To be competitive we will cut our budgets. A few rounds of negotiation and we compromise our margins, perhaps lower than we were willing to cut. “We’ll figure it out later”, we excuse ourselves.
Now we bind our plans in contracts, we commit to ‘deadlines’ and quotas, we make promises to customers and shareholders with bonuses and penalties. And the pinnacle illusion - ‘The fixed price, turnkey, contract’ - planning the future down to every detail and affixing a schedule and cost for delivery. The customer is content, for he has struck a great deal and believes he secured a bright future.
The goals we set, the plans we made and the contracts we signed now become the focal point through which we view and interpret reality. If we perceive progress as planned we call it ‘success’. If not, we call it a, ‘problem’ that may evolve into ‘failure’. We devise tedious “Risk Management Plans” to prepare and prevent any possibility of life jeopardizing our plans. We want to feel in control.
Then life happens. Delays, complications, misunderstandings, mistakes, unforeseen factors, changes in the market, political barricades, illness, forces of nature, you name it. Everything is in a constant state of change. As John Lennon so wisely put it, “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”. But our expectations are different - we made plans, we signed contracts. We hold ourselves and others accountable to fulfill our expectations.
Now managers and employees are concerned how this shortcoming will affect them. Surely, someone will be blamed. Worry and fear prevail. The elders have foreseen this. They have been through this several times. Life in the organization has taught them to be cautious, to brush off responsibility, to keep ‘cover ass’ documentation for a rainy day. In some organizations ‘problems’ are not communicated. People have learned that delivering ‘bad news’ has its negative repercussions, so they avoid it all together. And so the Titanic steams ahead at full speed, as planned, while signals of the impending glacier collision do not come through.
Why do we respond like this? According to Sidharta, the reason is our ignorance of the nature of change, believing our plans were meant to happen, and holding on to them while life moves on. Ignorance spawns fear as we face uncertainty feeling unprepared and vulnerable. We are at loss over “what went wrong?”, “we should have done so and so…”, “we should have not done so and so”. All a costly waste of energy; excessive suffering; water under the bridge.
More so, is it possible we are caught up in a gloomy interpretation? Perhaps the so called ‘problems’ may turn out to be birth pains of a soon to come ‘success’? Is it possible these surprising occurrences hold new opportunities? Some of the greatest discoveries and life changing inventions were created by accident. Our experiences and expectations bias our perception of reality in a way that prevents us from seeing other possibilities. Columbus set out to find a short route to India, stumbled upon America and changed the world. But as it happened he was unaware. He called the natives Indians as he believed he reached India. We experience such misconceptions on a daily basis.
How can we bring clarity and equanimity upon this turmoil? Is it wrong to plan? Is it possible not to expect? I cannot overemphasize the importance of the process of planning. Through planning we create clarity about what we want to achieve. Planning creates a common language across the organization and aligns expectations. Yet, the plans themselves, are not as important as the process. Plans are transient entities, soon to be changed.
The key is our attitude towards the goals we set, the plans we make and our relation to change. Surely, turning vision into reality requires faith and persistence, in spite of what life throws at us. But at the same time, we must stay clear and open minded. We must keep in mind that plans are a product of our imagination, created with the limited information available at that time. As life unfolds, things change. We must be attentive and receptive to whatever comes and goes and be agile to adapt accordingly. Michael J Fox who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease at age 29 is quoted to explain, “Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it.”
With a clear and open mind new information is accepted neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, it just is. If we can remain receptive to change there is no stress. People will not fear to communicate so called ‘bad’ news, nor will they be apt to produce so called ‘good’ news to appease us. With acceptance there is no blame, it is simply observation, assessment, re-planning and carrying on.
This phenomenon is not unique to workplaces. As humans we constantly expect and plan. We have expectations from ourselves, from our parents, our children and our friends. We plan our day, we plan the weekend. We expect the lights to turn on when we flip the switch, we expect people to turn off their cell-phones at the cinema. But life has its own ways, and it bothers us.
In some areas such as business this phenomenon is amplified. But no matter which lifestyle you choose, you cannot avoid it. Even monks who live in renunciation of material possessions and physical pleasures have expectations. Ultimately we all face the changes of aging, illness and death.
We can train our minds to lessen our hold to expectations and be more receptive to
change. Such a profound transformation is possible through meditation, a simple, natural technique practiced on a daily basis. Through meditation we learn to experience our own thoughts and opinions for what hey are - subjective interpretations of our own creation, primarily based on our past experiences. Past experiences, childhood experiences, make an imprint and condition the way we perceive and respond to events. When we observe and recognize this, we naturally become less attached to these conditionings. We don’t take our paradigms and opinions so seriously and new possibilities are revealed.
No matter what area of life may trigger us to embark on a journey of personal development, the fruits will enhance our well being in all areas. For it is we who transform while the world goes on, unchanged.
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